That's me!

I'm the 42 1/5th year old that is happily married, respectfully employed, living in a sunny apartment with excellent access to many conveniences, good credit even after bankruptcy, one adult child that has little to no troubles, has a year's salary saved, has the best family that I got to choose and who chose me, and is showcasing my natural hair for myself and for representation for the culture.


* Passion is internal - what brings you wellness and it includes (1) organization (2) the minimalist lifestyle because I find peace of mind in functionally clean spaces (3) weight loss and fitness (4) gratitude for what I already have and (5) learning new skills that are globally useful so that I don't feel trapped in one place, specifically, in the United States of America.

* Purpose is external - what brings others wellness that are around me includes (1) teaching how to save money (2) sharing my life story so that others that face adversity don't feel that they are alone, here or abroad.

* Hedonic Adaptation is a bias of the human mind that has you get used to the things that you already have like the people in your life, the job that you work, the house that you live in, and even the car that you drive; thus, having the feeling of complacency, boredom, or dissatisfaction for the things that you already have. It explains why you want a bigger home, want a newer car, want more money at your job, or even want a new partner when you have gotten bored of the one that you have.

* How to overcome Hedonic Adaptation - (1) doing repetition of small positive experiences (2) not buying more things (3) exercise at least 15 minutes every day for cognitive function (4) get more sleep (my fitbit helps me track how many hours I get and currently, I'm at an average of ___ per night), (5) help your mind from wandering with concentrated breathing (6) learn your strengths and use them in doing the repetition of small positive experiences (you can learn yours at viacharacter.org and my character strengths are love, hope, wisdom, social intellect, and gratitude (7) learn your hidden biases because they will lower your capacity for empathy, leaving you less likely to connect with other people, and thus, decreasing your level of wellness. You can learn your biases through the Harvard Implicit Bias Test based on 14 elements - I have not taken these assessments as of yet, but I will share when I do

* Increase Wellness by increasing your time affluence. Much of what is said, advertised, and socially constructed is that material affluence (a lot of money, many and always updated cars, and a bigger house than you need or can afford) is what will bring you wellness. In contrast, research and my lived experiences show that increased time affluence brings more wellness. Time affluence is having enough time to do the activities that are personally meaningful to you (passionate). Think about it. Have you ever caught yourself saying......"Well I would work out for 15 minutes every day, but I don't have the time"......"Well I would learn how to do Microsoft Excel, but I don't have the time".......Well I would cook a healthier meal, but I don't have the time".......Well I would get out and date, but I don't have the time"......Well l would track my expenses and create a budget, but I don't have the time"......Well I would plan for my life abroad, but I don't have the time". As you can see, time is much more valuable than things.

* Living in my character strengths - Now I know this sounds corny to you too, but hear me out. Again, we are socialized to want material affluence, but building my character strengths in love, hope, wisdom, social intellect, and gratitude is not only morally valued, my character strengths DO NOT diminish the values of others. It can boost your relationships (or get you out of toxic ones), decrease your stress (or teach you to protect your mental health by staying away from people and environments that seek to harm you), and help you accomplish your goals by teaching yourself how to know what's important to you and taking the steps to achieve them.

My character strengths ranked as (1) Appreciation of beauty - No, not that instagram-able beauty, but environmental beauty that comes from historical architecture, cleanliness, non-cluttered spaces, functionality in spaces (2) Bravery (3) Citizenship (4) Creativity (5) Curiosity (6) Fairness (7) Forgiveness (8) Gratitude (9) Hope (10) Humor (11) Integrity (12) Wisdom to make good judgement (13) Kindness - that a part of my friend and dating tactic....if you are mean to a waiter or leave the shopping cart not at the designated spot to leave the low wage worker to walk miles to get it.....that shows lack of kindness and I don't fuck with people like that (14) Leadership (15) Love (16) Learning (17) Modesty (18) Persistence (19) Self-Regulation......is anyone else learning intermitten fasting and need help like I do? (20) Social intelligence (21) spirituality (22) Zest

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